Beer, Jennifer and Stief, Eileen. The
Mediator’s Handbook. New
Society Publishers, 1997.
great beginner’s book on mediating conflict (not just for formal
mediation). It explains what
kinds of issues can and can’t be mediated, how to establish a safe and
neutral context, how to guide parties to resolution, how to write an
agreement and when to call it quits.
Contains the best wisdom, principles, tools, and tips of the
renowned Friends Conflict Resolution Programs.
Fisher, Roger and Ury, William. Getting
to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.
Penguin Books, 1981.
Comments: The classic and essential book on conflict
essential principles of conflict resolution (separate the people from the
problem; focus on interests, not positions; invent options for mutual
gain; use objective criteria). Also
explains key negotiation practices to deal with impasses (such as:
identify the BATNA – best alternative to a negotiated agreement,
“unpack” positions – explore what’s underneath them.)
Hupp, Toni. “Data
Feedback Meetings: Moments of Truth and Success Factors,” Consulting Today, Spring 1999, Volume 3, Issue 1. (For info call 914
Levine, Stewart. Getting
to Resolution: Turning Conflict into Collaboration.
book explains, better than others, how to shift disputants from an
adversarial mindset to a collaborative one.
It also spells out the on-going costs of failing to make this
and Organizational Development: Using Data-Based Methods.
Comments: The classic book on how to get clients to own and follow
through on feedback.
Slaikeu, Karl A. When
Push Comes to Shove: A Practical Guide to Mediating Disputes.
Comments: Provides a wonderful format for gathering the
critical information and perspectives needed to reach resolution – a
Conflict Resolution Matrix for identifying each party’s: interests,
facts/history, best alternative to a negotiated agreement, possible
solutions, and integrated resolution.
Stone, Douglas; Patton, Bruce; and Heen, Sheila.
Difficult Conversations: How
to Discuss What Matters Most. Penguin Books, 1999.
Comments: A new book from the Harvard Negotiation Project (the folks who brought us the original conflict resolution classic, Getting to Yes). This one is destined to become a classic as well. This book explains 3 parallel conversations that occur whenever we deal with uncomfortable issues: The “what happened” conversation to establish what happened and who’s at fault. The “feelings” conversation to own feelings and establish whether they’re valid and appropriate. And the “identity” conversation to establish each party’s worth and competence. The authors explain how to shift each conversation from a counterproductive “message delivery stance” (to set the record straight or draw a “line in the sand”) to a productive “learning stance” (to unpack differences, understand a larger reality, and come to a win/win resolution).
Copyright © 2001 Toni R. Hupp